It starts with small insecurities: you are scared to ask for a glass of water in a bar or ask the time to a stranger. Even meeting your 'crush' makes you so panicked that it blocks you. You blame it on your shyness, but each time the anxiety you feel is greater and you begin to avoid those situations that seem to be beyond your control. What happens to you may be social phobia and it is the silent epidemic of the 21st century.
Social phobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by a persistent fear of social situations for fear of not controlling them. But, to the parrot because, precisely, if you avoid those situations that make you uncomfortable, it can increase to the point of causing you to isolate yourself from the world. Social phobia is one of the most common mental disorders in the world and is growing. In Spain it is estimated that it affects half a million people, 1% of the population, according to the ESEMeD-Spain study.
When the singer Adele stopped doing concerts, she explained that she did it because the anxiety she felt made it an unbearable experience and confessed that, in order to perform live at the Oscars in 2013, she had to resort to hypnosis since she has anxiety or social phobia. That is one of the reasons why she has not reappeared in public until recently.
She is not the only star to suffer from this pathology, considered a silent epidemic of the 21st century. Bella Hadid has attacks so strong that, in addition to anxiety and fear, she has generated depression and she can have momentary memory loss.
The same thing happens to Megan Fox, Nicole Kidman, Scarlett Johansson and Michelle Pfeiffer, all of them have to prepare themselves before facing people because of the enormous burden that this situation generates for them. For Johnny Depp, the problem is so serious that, every time he has to appear in public, he first has to do relaxation exercises with his therapists, who travel with him to help him with his social phobia. The actor explains that, so that he is not noticed, he dedicates himself to "acting" in interviews.
The good news about social phobia is that it can be treated with therapy, until you learn to live with it or even be cured. It all starts with starting to stop avoiding and facing fears. But, although it sounds simple, it is a complex task.
Living with social phobia
Concha began having eating disorders at the age of 15. After three years of treatment and medication, she began to experience social phobia. “I was not aware that it was something typified in psychiatry and I found myself alone and lost before such a monster... I remember running through the streets out of panic. It was impossible for me to go shopping or on the subway, have a relaxed conversation with someone or attend class. I dropped out of college and went to a house that some friends lent me. I stayed there for a year,” she recalls.
By isolating himself, the social phobia emerged more clearly. In addition to traditional medicine, Concha tried everything to try to feel better: yoga, meditation, alternative therapies... But nothing made her lose her fears and no one gave her problem a name. "I myself identified it as a social phobia and I have understood that it has to do with a problem of self-esteem, fear of being judged, and with my childhood experiences: the negative messages of a very critical mother and an overprotective father," she explains.
Is it the same as shyness?
“Social phobia usually begins in adolescence, but at the enpositive center we have even treated children. To diagnose it, it must be taken into account that anxiety and fear must be intense and affect people's lives and routines. There are introverted or shy adolescents whose social life is not distressing", explains Isabel Serrano-Rosa, psychologist and director of enpositive Sí and author of the book 'Breathing Alegría' (The sphere of books), where she offers a program and specific breathing for this disorder.
Although they can be confused, shyness and social phobia are not the same. "They differ in the degree of discomfort that social relationships represent," Serrano-Rosa points out. Shyness is a character trait with which a person can function and approach life. In social phobia, discomfort is invalidating and undermines social life in a forceful way. Avoidance behaviors become essential to not suffer but, like an oil stain, if the phobia is not addressed, it spreads more and more”.
a great unknown
As the psychologist points out, “social phobia is a serious problem that must be addressed. Social relationships are fundamental and fears of feeling humiliated or embarrassed in front of others can destroy our social networks”. In addition, she warns: "it is a door to depression and a threat to self-esteem, it decreases the potential for growth in professional careers and it is a source of anguish at work."
It is a fairly unknown pathology, which makes diagnosis and treatment difficult. “Indeed, those affected often think that it is a weakness of character or that they are bland or strange people. They usually come for consultation when circumstances no longer allow them to avoid the feared places or the symptoms are so intense that the suffering overwhelms them", explains the psychologist, who recalls "a patient who could not stop giving a presentation of her work in a meeting and that's why he asked for an appointment.
A network of care
Today, Concha is part of the Spanish Association for Mutual Aid against Social Phobia and Anxiety Disorders (AMTAES), a network with more than 1,200 members between the ages of 18 and 65. “It helps us to share experiences and help each other, and it is much more than that. It helps us make ourselves visible and claim tools in order to empower ourselves and compete in the same conditions as anyone else”, and she emphasizes that “many of us are victims of economic and social precariousness and are neglected”.
AMTAES is intended for those affected by so-called Anxiety Disorders (which have a solution), which include, in addition to social phobia, generalized anxiety disorder, specific phobia, agoraphobia, panic attacks and anxiety disorder. obsessive compulsive (OCD). "A group of psychological problems poorly known by society and whose negative effects are undervalued," points out Enrique Vargas, president of AMTAES.
In this sense, Vargas denounces that “it is necessary to give the alarm signal regarding the malfunctioning of the mental health system in our country, which makes it difficult to detect disorders early, with the added suffering that it entails and the difficulties that we encounter. for the treatment". In addition, he remembers that the first contact of those who suffer from it is with a family doctor, who does not always know how to diagnose it.
“Patients end up confused and with strong internal suffering. That is why the presence of psychologists in primary care is necessary and that the family doctors themselves have minimal knowledge to guide them," explains Vargas, for whom the specialized mental health services "do not work well either, because they are saturated and cannot carry out treatments in depth. The interval between appointment and appointment is between a month and a half and two months”. And now, with the pandemic, more and, specifically, the cases of women affected by mental health problems have increased.
For this reason, the president of AMTAES points out that, in many cases, “the only way out is to go to a private psychologist, who is specialized in this type of disorder. Unfortunately, very few affected people can afford this option due to the economic cost that this implies”.
Early detection
Since social phobia appears relatively soon, Vargas points out that, in the first stages of socialization of the person, “early detection is the most effective way to prevent or deal with this disorder with guarantees of success. The longer it takes to diagnose the problem, the more its symptoms increase, it becomes more chronic and associated pathologies are probably added. All this will make it difficult for the therapist to act."
The report prepared by the National Proem Network, made up of research psychologists from Spanish universities and in which AMTAES participates, indicates that in most cases adolescents with emotional problems that may lead to a future anxiety disorder are detected too late. social, such as excessive shyness or being bullied.
"For this reason, it is common that when the problem occurs, the disorder has already been triggered. Education and primary health care professionals are unaware or have little information on quick, valid and reliable tools that can be administered to patients. adolescents and their environments, from parents to educational ones, to detect these emotional problems early", explains Enrique Vargas.
How to deal with the problem
Given the suspicion of suffering from social phobia, the psychologist Isabel Serrano-Rosa suggests "not to judge yourself in a negative way, because your mind lies, deceives you, so question what it tells you and begin to be more indulgent with yourself." In addition, she recommends seeking relaxation through meditation and conscious breathing, and a specialized therapist.
“The first ally must be yourself and not beat yourself up with punitive thoughts. From there you have to act and face it. Our recommendation is that professional help be sought, that the person not be left alone and isolated, hiding what is happening to them,” she says.
As for the environment, if you have a family member or friend who suffers from social phobia, remember the most important thing: do not put pressure on them. “It is not a question of will or attitude, it is a much deeper and more rooted fear. It is not solved by inviting the affected person to cheer up and go out more or by telling him that what he thinks does not make sense and that it is in his head, ”explains the therapist.
However, there is something fundamental: do not encourage avoidance. “That family members can understand the situation is a basic starting point, since the best help is to listen and be available. But if they are afraid and rely on them excessively, they will become even more vulnerable to the phobia and to life”, warns Serrano-Rosa.
a silent disease
One of the characteristics of social phobia is that it is an invisible disease. "Those affected hide themselves, not only because of what they will say or fear of being judged, etc., but also because of the special difficulty in externalizing their emotions," explains Enrique Vargas. This means that they do not usually tell family or friends (if they have them). He silently carries the daily suffering, disguising, avoiding, avoiding social interactions”.
Social phobia is a disorder little known by today's society, it is often confused with shyness and is not given the necessary importance, explains Vargas. Talking about it and demanding specialized training can help avoid the isolation of those affected, who "suffer without knowing exactly what is happening to them, feeling unable to integrate into society, and without anyone understanding and helping them."
4 steps to improve it
The psychologist Isabel Serrano-Rosa, director of enpositive Sí, recalls that “social phobia can be cured. Treatment will depend on both the type of phobia and the person. We tell you some steps that can be taken to start facing it
1. Learn to enjoy uncertainty.
2. Use relaxation techniques.
3. Expose yourself.
4. Focus on the now and take action.
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