Maybe it's a little everyone's fault. The concept 'depression' is often used with a certain frivolity and, perhaps for this reason, many times we are not able to know when someone needs help. Because those who are sad are told not to worry, to smile, but that is not the way to solve their problems if their ailment is really serious. “Sadness is an emotion as necessary as joy and it helps us to learn from the life situations we encounter, but being sad is not the same as going through a depressive process,” explains psychologist Raúl Padilla. This expert gives us the main keys to become a real lifesaver for that person who, with his look and his actions, although without words, is crying out for help. Always being clear that you can be a great support, but that a visit to a specialist is usually essential in these cases.
Now that mental health is more present every day and we are beginning to give it the importance it deserves, take note of these recommendations that on more than one occasion will help you protect that loved one who is suffering or even yourself.
Learn to detect the problem
Because, many times, this will go unnoticed if you are not able to look closely. "A sudden drop or an abnormal increase in weight, apathy and apathy, a slowdown in vital tone... everything can put us on notice," begins the expert, who adds: "It is also common for the depressed person to have a speech full of self-reproaches or that he begins to neglect his personal appearance.” The signs will begin to reveal themselves waiting to be heard, and that is why you will have to be attentive to determine if it is a specific problem or something deeper. As Raúl Padilla states, “rarely do we find its origin simply by asking”. For this reason, before offering your help, you should do a preliminary reflection and try to guess if your friend is really on the verge of a more serious process than a simple punctual slump.
Talk to your friend, express your concern (very delicately)
Once it is clear that the problem exists, it is time to act. “Talk to your friend about the symptoms you have detected and try to get her to open up, to share them with you, always showing unconditionality and respecting her time,” advises the psychologist. Maintaining a good attitude using supportive phrases will be crucial for her to understand that you are willing to help her: “You have to remember that depression will push her to isolate herself, and that our goal should always be that she does it with us so that we can push her out. of that confinement ”, reviews Padilla. In addition, encouraging her to attend therapy and to decide on the one that best suits her can be essential.
Never question their feelings
Because the magical change is not in her hand, nor is it her responsibility to feel that way. Reversing the situation is, but it is no use forcing her to do it if she does not yet have the necessary tools. "She is already generating a sufficient amount of guilt for someone from outside to feed that fire," says the psychologist, who invites us to continue showing ourselves as someone to trust, avoiding judgments and "reframing her progress positively while thanking her for place their trust in you, always being the best listener and without forcing any situation”, concludes the expert. You can tell her about fictional characters and celebrities with mental health problems and ask her to know her story so that she knows that she is not alone.
Coordinate with others
Perhaps you have detected the problem, but you will not be able to lift your friend alone. For this reason, "you must assess what her support network is and talk to them to collaborate, just as you have to know who not to ask for help because it could be toxic for her," Padilla reviews. A common job, with an implication from several fronts, will make her feel really protected.
Propose really healthy plans
"Performing pleasant activities, such as going for a walk in the sun and, if possible, in an environment in which nature is the protagonist, helps a lot to regenerate," confirms the psychologist. The sun is a natural antidepressant that, mixed with physical exercise and good company, can be the starting motor for change. Because, although you can't heal, you can help find the way for your friend to try.
Encourage him to seek professional help
Once the path of trust has been opened, it is time to talk about depression as a medical disorder that has a cure and encourage her to seek help. "Addressing the issue of professional treatment is essential for the person to accept the disease and stop thinking that it is simply a bad streak that they can overcome on their own," explains Raúl Padilla. Therefore, it is necessary to demystify: going to the psychologist or the psychiatrist is not crazy; it is, rather, intelligent and well-rounded people who understand that they have a problem and want to solve it. And nothing more.
Be patient and don't burn
"Having a fellow traveler who keeps you motivated and encourages you and focuses on solutions is essential to keep the rudder, even if there are partial relapses," says Padilla, who invites us to be patient and learn not to 'burn out': "You have to have Keep in mind that we are making an extra effort to deal with our life and with that of someone who is in a very demanding situation. Therefore, you have to know how to maintain a balance to continue providing quality support.
The path is not easy. But surely your friend would do the same for you, if the situation were reversed. As La Vecina Rubia says about depression: "Big problems need, in addition to the understanding of your people, the help of a professional. The first step in solving a problem is knowing that you have it."
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